I’m really tired. My house is a mess. I couldn’t tell the last time I washed my hair. My yard has been overtaken with weeds. I have emails from two weeks ago that I still need to reply to. I’m behind on blog posts. I haven’t cooked a decent meal for my family in 2 weeks. I would love to sit down and have a real conversation with my husband. My kids have been watching entirely too much TV. I’ve got to work out more. The tot school activities I wanted to start doing with Maddie Grace I’m not sure will ever become a reality. I have no idea what’s going on with my friends from college and law school. I haven’t been calling my parents as much as I should. Our upcoming Europe trip hasn’t been planned out at all. When was the last time I gave the cat food and water? Basically I’m here to say that I’m not the mom that can do it all.
In fact, I’m barely keeping above water. As a mom I already feel very stretched to my limit every day from mom responsibilities alone. My toddler is an incredibly needy kid. She’s not great at independent play (although I strongly encourage it) and it kills me when I’m working on something and she grabs my hand and says “mommy I miss you!” The baby also requires attention and wants to nurse every 2 hours all day and all night. Watching the two of them and catering to their every need pretty much accounts for every second of my day that I’m not asleep. But I love it and am beyond thankful for my two children – they are growing up way too quick and my time with them during these precious years is invaluable. Taking the time to laugh with our sweet baby, play ‘Sea Monster’ with my daughter, and get out of the house and explore with them are experiences I’ll never regret.
And as a lot of my readers are also bloggers I think they’ll feel me on this. I suffer from what I’ve diagnosed as blogger FOMO (dad – ‘FOMO’ stands for fear of missing out). Someone is working with what brand? Oh I probably should work with them too. I should take on as many collaborations as I can because I need to have what everyone else has! It looks like that blogger is making more money than me, so I need to step my game up. Those are the lies I tell myself. Truth is the only thing I need is to to slow down.
“Comparison is the death of joy” said the great Mark Twain and he was right. Everyone other mom appears to have it together. Sparkling clean homes that are impeccably decorated, fabulous meals cooked every night, perfect bodies from working out two hours a day, children who look perfect and who they engage in educational play throughout the day. Oh and they make plenty of money to support their families off of from working hard on their blogs and/or outside the home jobs… and then there’s me.
See? I can’t even handle the basic mom blogger braid.
You moms who do it all – or even just some of that – you are rock stars. I seriously admire and respect you and try so hard to be like you and fall short. But you, mom who feels like they are losing their shit when every other mom seems to have it together, you’re not alone. The mom who feels like she’s drowning and can’t keep up? I’m right there with you. And all I have to say is you deserve some time off when you need it, and I hope you are able to get that. Us not do it all moms aren’t failures, we as moms are just all different and have particular strengths and weaknesses. So here’s to cutting back, enjoying every moment, and finding balance in this crazy motherhood ride.
So mamas – how do you do it all?
Great post Claire! It’s so hard to be on top of everything and I think we all need to slow down for sure!
Katie Crenshaw says
I needed to read this! Tears!
I love this and am totally with you. I know that I cannot do it all and I have given up trying. I do what a can but being “Mama” is priority to everything else.
I love this post. There are days where I can say “I’ve got this” or days where I just want to sit in a corner and cry. We all have them 🙂
sweetteasweetie (@SweetTSweetie) says
I love your honesty about this! I definitely need to slow down!
Esther Freedman says
Love your honesty. And I feel like the “do it all mom” is a total myth… No one is doing everything perfectly! And I also should say how much I admire and look up to you as a blogger, and think you are doing totally amazing things. You’re seriously an inspiration, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way! xox
I with ya! I am no do it all mama and I envy those that are!! I keep saying tomorrow is a new day, and then it becomes the same struggle day after day! But I know this time will pass and I will wish it back for some crazy reason!! Cheers to you Mama, you are doing a great job!!
Falon Loves Life (@FalonLovesLife) says
Many more of us are losing our shit than doing it all. And I firmly believe those who are “doing it all” are lying liarpants who have super powers or nannies. Hang in there, and know that all the moms out there feel you!
Crystal // Dreams, etc. says
I don’t think anyone is a do-it-all-mom, even those who appear to be. 🙂 All of this can be said for people (and bloggers) without kids, too. We’re always comparing ourselves to others and blogging/social media has, in some ways, made it so much worse because we can compare our lives to little glimpses that we see. You look like you’re doing an excellent job! 🙂
Terryn Winfield says
I’m not sure I could love this post any more! Perfect! I am not a do it all mom either- I have 6 kids. I fall short every single day and by God’s grace I make it through another one. I so appreciate it when another mom is real and honest…the picture perfect scenes we see on social media don’t help any of us. Hang in there mama, and enjoy your beautiful babies.
🙂 love this..
Thank you for writing this. Thank you thank you, I would kiss your face if you were here, thank you. I literally thought I was the only mom in the world who felt this way. Social media is a wonder and then at other times a nightmare for moms. We have to see diy projects, kids that early readers, best sleepers, professional looking photos with perfect hair and diy headbands, immaculate houses and yards…I could go on. Thank you for being nitty gritty real. You are a breath of fresh air, bless you!